My First Love

Before you get discouraged from reading this entry, let me say that this is not about some tragic story from my past or some sort of lost love. My first love is still incredibly present in my life and always will be. That love is music. I want to give you a little more insight into who I am. Obviously, this will only be a very brief explanation, because I could talk forever and ever about music and the ways it's shaped and changed me.

First, I'll start off with the reason why I'm so passionate about music. The handsome man in the middle of that picture is my dad. The other two men are his brothers. They were in a band together when they were young and my dad started playing out in bars at the age of 15. 

He still plays to this day and he will be 59 in May. He's still in love with music just as much as he was as a kid. He is a huge Beatles fan and has instilled a love for them in me as well. I grew up listening to my dad play in his bands and I absolutely loved it. I was always so proud that my dad was on stage. Of course, I thought this was the norm, but I eventually realized that not everyone had a musician as a parent. I felt lucky. My dad would play me some of his favorite records and introduced me to all kinds of music. This is something that I hope to do with my children one day, because those are some of my greatest memories as a kid. Every now and then, we'll still go down to the basement and listen to music together. I cherish those moments and I'm so thankful that he has passed the wonderful gift of music on to me. 

 I picked up a microphone when I was really young. I'm 9 months old in that first picture and I'm 4 years old in the second. I've loved singing for as long as I can remember. I was painfully shy as a kid though, so I usually sang when I was alone. I would play cassette tapes in my bedroom and sing along, trying to mimic my favorite singers. 

My first favorite band was a group named Highway 101. I loved Paulette Carlson's voice. I'm almost positive that most of my peers have no idea who the hell they are. 

"Whiskey, If You Were A Woman" was one of the first songs I sang at karaoke when I was little. Of course I had no idea what I was singing about. I just knew I loved her voice and I loved the song.

I started doing karaoke when I was 7 or 8 years old. As I said before, I was incredibly shy and even though I had a microphone, you would still have barely been able to hear me. I slowly opened up and allowed myself to be heard. It took some time though. I just knew that the applause at the end gave me a rush like nothing else. To top it off, when I actually allowed my voice to be heard, I started getting compliments. While my face would turn a bright, cherry red, it made me feel amazing. 

Some of the other songs that I sang when I was little were:

"If I Could Turn Back Time" by Cher
"Saved The Best For Last" by Vanessa Williams
"That's My Baby" by Lari White
"Come To My Window" by Melissa Etheridge
"Hit Me With Your Best Shot" by Pat Benatar
"It Matters To Me" by Faith Hill

And...

This has been my favorite song since I was about 4 years old. Only Grand Funk's version though. I just don't care for the original or Kylie Minogue's cover. There's something about this version. I still get excited when I hear it. I even have this song on my phone. :)

The first singer I ever really fell in love with and idolized was Mariah Carey. No one can sing the way she does. I would sing along with her for hours and try to hit all of the notes that she did. Trying to emulate Mariah is how I got the range that I did. Some of that is gone now, unfortunately. 

"Someday" recorded when I was 16 or 17

"Someday" is one of my favorite songs by her and I've always loved performing it. I haven't really sang many of her songs in public. There are a ton that I would love to try. I just haven't had the balls to do it yet. Maybe I'll work on that...

Her first three albums are and will always be my favorites. When she released The Emancipation Of Mimi, I was incredibly excited that it had a similar feel to those first albums. Mariah Carey is still one of my favorite singers to this day, but eventually, she would be slightly surpassed by someone else. 

The first time I ever heard Christina Aguilera, I was watching the Disney channel. The video for her song "Reflection" played and I absolutely loved it! I even wrote her name down so I wouldn't forget it. A little while later, when "Genie In A Bottle" came out, I was so excited because I was finally able to hear more from her. She became another person that I loved singing along to and trying to emulate. I have loved absolutely everything she has done, including Burlesque. 

When I was 16, Christina's Stripped Album came out. Around this time, I was starting to really go through some tough times. My depression was just starting to really show it's face. That album was perfect for that point in my life. I felt like some of those songs were written just for me. "The Voice Within" was one that really spoke to me. I actually cried the first time I heard it. 

When it came time to choose a quote to place next to my senior picture in the yearbook, I chose a line from another song on Stripped. The song was "Keep On Singin' My Song" and the line was:

"They can say all they wanna say about me, but I'm gonna carry on. I'mma keep on singin' my song."

This was so relevant to me, because once I had started singing in front of my peers, I was looked at differently.  A lot of people assumed that I was conceited or stuck up, which was completely untrue. If those people had taken a moment to actually talk to me, they would have seen that. I was and still am very appreciative of the support I've received. It's just unfortunate that someone who is simply doing what they love to do gets criticized and has people saying very untrue and mean things. 

This is another thing that I connect with Christina on. When she was young and was entering contests and performing, she was bullied and treated horribly. At one point, someone even went as far as to slash her mother's tires on her car. They had to move because the bullying got so out of hand. I never had to deal with anything as serious as that, but in a way, I felt like I was being unfairly judged. Nothing was going to stop me from singing though.

Although Christina is my favorite, there are a few other singers that I really look up to as well.

When American Idol first started, my dad and I watched it religiously. Nothing interrupted my AI time, EVER! Every single time Kelly Clarkson sang, I would cry without fail. My dad always teased me, but I couldn't help it. Her voice is so amazingly beautiful and I always felt it when she sang. 

One of my favorites by Kelly

Those are the singers that I love. The ones that make you feel something, whether you're prepared to or not. Kelly is easily one of my top 5 all-time favorites. 

One of my favorites to sing right now

Another absolutely undeniable voice. Celine Dion has always been a favorite of mine as well. I'm not even sure I really need to explain this one. She's just amazing and a fantastic performer. Her voice is just flawless. She is another person that I grew up singing along with and I learned a lot from listening to her. My choir teachers always gave me grief because I move my jaw when I sing. A lot of singers do this, but mainly Celine and Whitney Houston. 

Recorded when I was 17

Some others artists that I look up to are:

Heart
Pat Benatar
Pink
Beyonce
Lara Fabian
Adele
Beth Hart
Jessie J
Halestorm
Evanescence
Anastacia
Carrie Underwood
Anouk
Joss Stone
Paramore

Sara Bareilles
Suzie McNeil
LeAnn Rimes
Vanessa Amorosi

The list could go on and on. If you don't recognize some of these names, look them up. You might like them as much as I do. :)

I don't sing as much as I used to, but music and singing will always be a huge part of my life. I'd love to find a band to be a part of or simply just get out more and perform. It's a part of me and it's something that I will never be able to stop doing. To anyone who has supported me, come to see me sing, or has given me praise, please know that I appreciate it so much and it means the world to me. <3 Thank you!

I will end this entry with more pictures of my favorites and some of myself as well. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. 

This song is incredible and it means a lot to me